


Tear Me Down

by megsmichael



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 2014!Cas, 2014!Verse BAMF!Castel, Angst, Castiel (Supernatural) - Freeform, Castiel/Other - Freeform, Dean Winchester - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, Fuckup!Dean, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death, Multi, WIP, asshole!Dean, dean/other - Freeform, jealous!Dean, more tags to come, overprotective!Dean, sam is gone
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2015-12-01
Packaged: 2018-05-04 07:27:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5325701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megsmichael/pseuds/megsmichael
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With the Darkness unleashed, Dean and Cas find themselves living the lives of their 2014! counterparts from the future Zachariah sent Dean to back in 2009. The only problem? It’s 2015 and everything from canon still happened. Dean and Cas embark on a journey to save the world, save Sam, and try to save their broken relationship before it’s too late.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tear Me Down

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I had this idea a long time ago and fell in love with it and I finally whipped my butt into getting the first chapter written and posted. So let me know if you want me to continue with the story!!!
> 
> Although this is 2014!Verse, it takes place in 2015/2016. This is because I’m taking everything that has already taken place in Supernatural and then adding 2014!Verse to the tail end of it. I’m then extending the story after that. 
> 
> Spoilers for S10 (and every single other episode of Supernatural ever potentially)
> 
> WIP
> 
> Unbeta'd so all mistakes are my own.
> 
> Rating will change. 
> 
> You don’t have to be a diehard hardcore SPN fan to read this but you at least need to be familiar with the basic principles and idea of the show. 
> 
> I expect this to be a epic fic so bear with me. I have no idea where the word count is going to end up but I have big plans for this story so I’m shooting for over 50,000, it might end up being a lot more though
> 
> Tags:  
> 2014!Verse, BAMF!Castel, asshole!Dean, overprotective!Dean, angst, hurt/comfort, Destiel, Castiel/Other, Dean/Other, Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural), minor character death, sam is gone, jealous!Dean, fuckup!Dean, 2014!Cas, WIP, more tags to come
> 
> I’ll try and update once a week but no promises. I’m not good with deadlines. Hope you like it!

Castiel was staring out the window of the cabin, not really seeing what he was looking at. Just looking. He was thinking about life and the cosmos and how each thing breaks down into the exact same atom and from that the particles and electrons that buzz with energy, seemingly unknown power vibrating inside of each and every individual object on the planet.

“Cas?”

He was thinking about how fascinating it was that the human body can be broken down into a singular strand of DNA and the code of that makes up everything that exists biologically within a person. And how each person is made up of millions of cells and when you break that down you get a nucleus; the same nucleus in each and every individual person on the planet.

“Cas!”

It really isn’t too strange to contemplate the existence of life, after all, every person has at some point in their lives. But to Castiel, this realization is so profound he doesn’t know how humans can keep from thinking in abstract thought at all times, drifting through the universe with unending knowledge and an infinite amount of space.

“Cas!” Dean shouted from across the room, now approaching and dragging Cas in by his collar. Castiel sputters and turns his attention to the fuming man standing in front of him. “What the hell dude?” Dean asks, “Have you listened to a single thing I’ve been saying this whole time?”

“No, not really.” Cas answers truthfully in the same monotonous voice he’s used all month. Dean huffs and lets go of Castiel’s collar, use to this kind of behavior from him.

“I said,” Dean turns and walks back to the table with his maps and charts scattered all around, “that there’s a camp not too far from where we are now. I figure we can crash here for tonight and head out tomorrow, yeah?” Castiel simply nods his head and then turns back to the window. Cas knows that Dean is trying his best to include him, but it’s unwelcome. Cas knows that Dean doesn’t really want Cas to voice his opinion, just to be someone to talk to so Dean isn’t talking to himself. So Cas says as much as he can without getting yelled at and then continues on with whatever he’s doing before the discussion started.

He hears Dean sigh and out of the corner of his peripherals notices him lean over on a dining chair with his head hung between his shoulders. Castiel would give anything to go over and comfort him, but he’s learned from past mistakes that that corse of action is dangerous. Last time he did, he thought Dean was going to rip his arm off, so Cas hasn’t tried even a shoulder touch since it happened.

It’s been hard. Really _fucking_ hard. Ever since Sam died, Dean has been nothing but a shell, trying to keep his head above water, trying to keep both of them safe, trying to keep the darkness from eating up the rest of the world and keep the angels and demons out of it. It’s an incredible burden that Cas knows he shouldn’t bear on his own, but every time Cas has tried to take some of the weight Dean lashes out and leaves them both feeling raw and hurt afterwords. The number one rule Cas has learned so far though: _Don’t mention Sam. **Ever**._ Another lesson that took many a trial and error to learn.

Dean sniffles, breaking Cas’s revere simply because of how unusual the sound is when coming from Dean. Cas turns his head to glance over at Dean, now with his hand covering his eyes. He drags it down his face, sniffs again, and then turns back to his duffle bag sitting in the chair opposite. He picks it up and walks towards the bedroom.

“I’m gonna hit the hay. See you in the morning.”

“Goodnight.” Cas says. Dean pauses in the doorway to the bedroom, duffle hanging over his shoulder. For a moment it looks like he has something else to say, but eventually he walks through and shuts the door. Castiel’s chest aches with the unspoken words from both Dean and himself.

He turns back to the window. The forest surrounding Rufus’s cabin is almost pitch black in the night, making sight for anyone else impossible. Luckily, Cas’s grace is still intact, so he watches. Always watching. _I’ll watch over you_ , Cas thinks, _I’ll always watch over you_ , _Dean_.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Things have been tense and awkward between them ever since the Darkness unleashed it’s evil upon the earth and Dean lost his brother. Cas remembers a time when they were a team, an unbeatable force against heaven, hell, purgatory, and anything else that threatened their precarious balance. Cas guesses that all it took was a hard enough push to knock them over the edge. Now Dean sits at a table in a run down cabin while the world ends, trying to save as many as he can before the inevitable fall of humanity. Cas realizes he gave up hope a long time ago. It’s not really that surprising, considering he watched Dean succumb to the darkness, so why not him? How it started was a bit confusing though, so Cas doesn’t like to dwell on it. Basically, the Darkness opened the cage and led an army of demons with Lucifer as her second in command and rebooted what the Winchesters and Castiel believed they had put a stop to a long time ago. Now there were demons around every turn (those Amara hasn’t snuffed out yet, anyway) and croatoan spreading through every major city. Coincidentally enough, it started in Detroit. The only difference from the future Zachariah sent Dean to all those years ago (and yes, Dean did tell Cas about that eventually), is that Sam didn’t say “yes” to Lucifer, but was immediately obliterated when he tried to stand against him.

Castiel remembers how his charred body crumbled to ash by the snap of Amara’s fingers, while his brother Lucifer laughed in Dean’s face. He still remembers the way Dean screamed and raged, but unfortunately for the both of them, Amara had a soft spot for Dean, keeping him alive. Lucky for Cas, no one knew he was there, so when they disappeared to cause more havoc around the globe, Cas was there to pick up a broken Dean Winchester and get him to his feet, but they didn’t get very far.

A motel room and bottle of whiskey had Dean passed out on the bed, his shoes still on, and tear tracks lining his cheeks. Castiel never told him, but that night he went outside the motel room door, and prayed. Seeing Dean so broken gave Cas little hope, and soon their relationship was nothing more than cohabiting the same space, constantly weary that the other would break down and leave forever. At first, Castiel tried to do everything he could to give Dean hope, but soon, even he was worn down. After so much bad, it’s hard to find any good in the world, especially when your prayers go unanswered, and you witness innocent people getting butchered on a daily basis.

At one point, Castiel tried to return to heaven, but with no wings, and most of the angels jumping ship, there was no longer a portal located on Earth. It was an “Everything must go” sale and the other angels took their last chance to flee with relief. Castiel, however, heard the warning over “Angel Radio” as Dean referred it, but stayed. He didn’t tell Dean about that either. Castiel doesn’t think he could leave now even if he wanted to. It’s not in him.

As the days grew longer, and the skies grew darker, Dean got worse. He became finicky and agitated, Castiel barely being able to stay in his presence for long without being shouted at or commanded to do something. Cas tried to get Dean to talk about it, but that was a one way ticket to the side of the road and squealing tires taking off ahead of him. Cas usually only waited a few hours before the Impala showed her guilty looking front bumper on the path again, heading in his direction. They either wouldn’t talk for hours, or Dean would fill the silence with strategy and plans, never discussing anything that actually mattered. Castiel soon grew sick of this and just stopped talking all together, finding it easier to deal with Dean’s outbursts that way. For a time, Dean was just angry with him for being so quiet and it just seemed to frustrate him more, but he got use to it soon enough.

Which is where they stand now.

Dean has almost packed everything into the two duffle bags they brought inside, having showered, dressed, and eaten the bowl of oatmeal Castiel set out for him. Castiel, still having his grace, did not require sustenance but did require some form of gratitude. He was about to bring it up to Dean that he never thanked him for the meal, when Dean speaks.

“Alright, you ready to head out?” He didn’t even wait for a reply before moving to the front door.

Castiel sat still in is chair by the window, wondering how long it would take Dean to wait before he would come storming back in or just put the car in drive and leave Cas in the tiny cabin in the woods. Cas couldn’t decide which was the better option of the two. He was still surprised, however, when Dean came storming in, and grabbing Castiel by the elbow, not saying anything, just tugging him up and dragging him to the car. If Castiel were completely a man, he’s certain that the grip Dean had on his arm would leave bruises. Regardless, at least Dean came back at all.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

The car ride was tense, but that wasn’t anything new. Castiel kept his face tilted to the side and his eyes on the passing trees, as per usual. The radio was on, but Dean was having a hard time finding any music on it. It was invaded by news stories about earthquakes, death tolls, and of course, the virus with no cure in sight.

_Chicago was hit yesterday with infected persons reaching numbers in the thousands. So far the CDC has yet to release a statement concerning the illness, commenting only that attempts are being made to stem the flow of the disease. President Obama is taking precau––_

Dean flips the station again.

_A women’s voice crackled over the stereo. The L.A. fires have yet to be put out, leaving hundreds of people homeless and exposed to the elements––_

Dean switches the radio off after a few more tries.

Castiel just continues to stare out the window at nothing in particular, contemplating the likelihood of surviving jumping out of a moving vehicle going approximately 62 miles an hour. Given the fact that he is an angel, he figures very likely. Dean shifts in his seat again, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel in no apparent pattern. It’s boiling Castiel’s blood.

“So it’s about a four hour drive East to Wisconsin and then I think we should take I-35 down to Madison,” Dean says. Castiel barely refrains from rolling his eyes at the obvious attempt to dispel the awkwardness in the air. Even though he thinks the attempt is weak at best, he indulges Dean’s olive branch and offers his own thoughts to the conversation.

“I agree. I think we should stop once we reach the border to eat, though,” Cas says. There’s a brief upturn of the corner of Dean’s mouth but it’s gone too quick.

  
“Yeah, good idea. I know you don’t need it, but thanks for thinkin' of me.” It comes out stilted but it’s obvious Dean is trying to get on good terms again. Castiel finds himself smiling slightly and lifts his head to glance over at Dean. He’s facing the road with a focused look on his face, but seems more relaxed than a moment ago. Castiel lets the tension drain from his shoulders and clears his head, trying to think of a new topic to keep this peace flowing, but before he can speak, Dean continues. “You know, not that I expected a lot in the first place,” he says. At the end of the sentence there’s a note of bitterness, and just like that, the moment is shattered. Cas goes back to staring out the window, not responding to Dean’s dismissal of the conversation. He understands that Dean only added on the last part to keep Cas from talking, but that doesn’t stop him from feeling hurt by it.

A few hours later they pull up to a diner off the highway and park a few stalls from the front door. Cas, now more tiered than angry or annoyed, straightened and went to pull the handle on the car door when an arm on his sleeve stopped him. Castiel’s heart flutters irrationally for a moment.

“Dean?––”

“Look Cas,” Dean cut off, “I get that you’re trying to, I don’t know, fix this somehow,” Dean pauses and takes a breath, turning away from Castiel’s eyes, speaking his next words into the windshield. “But I don’t need your comfort, I don’t need you to hold my hand through ‘ _this_ ,’ I just need, I just want to figure out what we’re going to do next.” He looked back at Cas, hand still resting on his arm. Castiel thinks about it for a minute and decided that yes, he was in fact insulted. “Okay?” Dean asked a little more earnestly.

Castiel thinks for a second about his response and then carefully says, “You know what Dean, you can continue to be angry at me for nothing at all, but that won’t stop me from standing by your side.” Castiel’s words were measured evenly and he tried not to give too much emotion away, but what he said was apparently the wrong thing.

“Who says I need you to stand by me?” Dean asked, more angered than before. It sounded like he was just one wrong phrase away from storming off again. Castiel decides to indulge him.

“I don’t know, maybe your insufferable temper, your raging alcoholism, or unstable emotional mood swings?” Castiel says with a lot more attitude than he had meant to. At this Dean tightens his grip of Castiel’s arm so hard that Cas almost feels it through his coat, but then Dean is moving away, slamming the door behind him.

Castiel sighs. _One step forward, two steps back._

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

They pulled up to the camp at half past ten. Castiel was sure that Dean was ready to pass out in the driver’s seat, but when he asked if Dean would like to switch, Dean’s response was being less than thrilled by the idea. So Castiel stayed quiet and ready to grab the wheel if Dean felt the need to grab a few minutes of shut eye.

The camp was gated with an electric fence and seemed to disappear under the cover of night with all of the big oak trees hiding it from the light. According to the brochure, it was originally a boot camp for young military kids, but after the first shockwave, everyone pretty much went into hiding or tried to find safety within their families, abandoning a lot of towns in their panic, this camp included, if rumors were anything to go by. Cas wasn’t sure why Dean insisted on Camp Chitakwa, but he figured it had something to do with a fake future put on by one pissed off angel.

They get out of the car to pull the entrance gate out of the way. Because his internal angelic coding, Cas can’t help but strategize their priorities while here, and number one is to get the electric fence working as soon as possible. Castiel could have easily moved the fence on his own, but he knows by now not to challenge Dean when it comes to doing manual labor, so they work together (Castiel trying not to do it all by himself was actually more of a challenge than the actual task at hand) to get it shoved aside. Dean then gets back in the car and drives it through while Castiel looks around the complex. There are cabins not too far off, but enough out of the way that it wouldn’t be the first place an invader would go if they were to get in. Dean pulls up next to Cas and rolls his window down.

“I’m gonna park her over there behind those sheds. Use your angel mojo to figure out if anyone is still here,” he says. Dean doesn’t wait for a reply before rolling his window up and making his way to the other side of the compound. Castiel sighs, (he’s been doing that a lot lately) and tunes in to the stagnant wave length of human radiance. He doesn’t sense anyone in the immediate area, but, as Dean would say, his abilities are ‘flabby and out of shape’ so Castiel doesn’t take that at face value. Just last week he told Dean a warehouse was clear only to find six croats waiting once they got inside. Long story short, Dean was not happy.

“Whatdaya got?” Dean asks walking up behind him. Castiel squints his eyes, trying to focus on the camp, but once again comes up with nothing.

“All clear.”

“Good. Let’s raid this place and see if we can come up with some grub,” Dean says. He walks away to what appears to be the dining hall, leaving Cas in his wake. Castiel decides to leave Dean to it and instead wants to try and find a radio tower. The next step to this plan was to establish communication with others to build a safe haven. Before he can take off though, Dean turns around and calls out his name.

“Comin’ Cas?” he yells. Cas sighs and follows Dean. _Like always. I’d follow you anywhere,_ he thinks dejectedly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay there it is! I hope you liked it and leave a comment if you want. I'm trying to use this to see if I should continue on with my idea so if you want me to keep writing this then let me know! I know 2014!verse is overdone but this has been stuck in my head for too long and it's time for some spring cleaning. Songs listened to while writing: Over you, by Daughtry - Kelly Rowland, Unity - Aquilo, I Gave It All - Black Ships, by Gem Club and a few others. Message me if you want more!


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